If the Holidays Feel Hard This Year

For many people, the holiday season brings warmth, celebration, and a sense of togetherness. But for others, this time of year activates stress, grief, loneliness, difficult family dynamics, or emotional exhaustion. If the holidays feel hard for you this year, you’re not doing anything wrong - you’re having a very human response to a very emotionally complex season.

Why the Holidays Can Feel Heavier Than Expected

The holidays have a way of bringing everything to the surface. Old roles, family expectations, unresolved tension, grief that hasn’t had space to heal, or the pressure to “be cheerful” can create an emotional load that feels heavier than usual. Even if your life looks different now - new boundaries, new relationships, new losses, new awareness - family and seasonal traditions can pull you back into old stress patterns. Your body remembers what your mind has tried to move past. You’re not imagining it. And you’re not alone.

You Don’t Have to Feel a Certain Way.

A common belief is that the holidays should feel joyful, cozy, or magical. When your experience doesn’t match that expectation, it’s easy to question yourself:

“Why can’t I just enjoy this?”“Everyone else seems happy - what’s wrong with me?”

Nothing is wrong with you.

There is no required emotional state for the holiday season. You’re allowed to feel stressed, sad, disconnected, overwhelmed, hopeful, or relieved. You’re allowed to feel a mix of all of those at once.

Your emotional experience is valid - even if it doesn’t look like anyone else’s.

When Family Makes the Holidays More Complicated

Family dynamics can intensify this season. For some, holidays mean stepping back into old patterns: caretaking, people-pleasing, staying quiet to keep the peace, or bracing yourself around someone who doesn’t respect your boundaries. Even if you love your family, it’s okay to acknowledge that being around them is emotionally complicated.

Here are a few reminders:

• You don’t have to participate in conversations that feel harmful or draining.

• You don’t have to stay longer than is healthy for you.

• You don’t have to act “fine” if you’re not.

• You don’t have to take on the emotional labor of holding everyone else together.

Choosing self-protection is not unkind. It’s self-respect.

If You Need Distance This Year:

Sometimes the healthiest choice is creating space - from a tradition, a person, or an environment that no longer feels emotionally safe. Taking distance doesn’t mean you don’t care. It means you’re listening to your limits. It means you’re honoring the version of you who’s trying to move toward something healthier. And that is allowed.

Ways to Support Yourself Through a Hard Holiday Season:

If the holidays tend to activate old stress or bring up difficult emotions, a little preparation can make a meaningful difference:

1. Have a grounding plan.

Identify small things that help you stay present: deep breaths, stepping outside for air, holding a warm drink, a grounding phrase like “I’m allowed to take care of myself.”

2. Give yourself permission to leave early.

Leaving is not a failure - it’s a boundary.

3. Reach out to someone outside the situation.

A quick text to a trusted friend or partner can help regulate your nervous system.

4. Release the pressure to make everything perfect.

Your worth is not tied to how smoothly the day goes or how well you hold everyone together.

5. Create moments of comfort for yourself.

A quiet morning. A walk. A favorite movie. A calm ritual before bed. Small anchors matter.

You’re Not Alone in Feeling This Way.

Even if your holiday season looks different from the highlight reel you see online, your experience is real and valid. This time of year can be complicated, and you deserve compassion - especially from yourself.

If the holidays bring up more stress than joy, more heaviness than warmth, or more questions than comfort, it’s okay to seek support. You don’t have to navigate this season alone.

Considering Support?

If this season is bringing up difficult emotions, you might find it helpful to explore therapy:

• Learn more about Individual Therapy

• Learn more about Couples Therapy

You’re welcome to reach out whenever you feel ready. Support is here in Plano or online across Texas.