Couples Therapy FAQs: What to Know Before You Start

Starting couples therapy can bring up a mix of hope, curiosity, and understandable questions. Many couples wonder “Is therapy right for us?” or “What actually happens in sessions?”

Below are answers to some of the most common frequently asked questions about couples therapy to help you feel more informed and at ease as you consider taking this step.

1. What is couples therapy?

Couples therapy is a form of counseling that helps partners improve communication, strengthen emotional connection, and work through challenges together. Rather than deciding who’s “right” or “wrong”, couples therapy focuses on:

• Understanding relationship patterns

• Learning healthier ways to communicate

• Repairing trust and emotional safety

• Creating more closeness and connection

Couples therapy can support dating, engaged, married, or long-term partners at any stage.

2. Do we have to be in crisis to start couples therapy?

No. Many couples start therapy before things feel overwhelming. Couples therapy can be helpful if you:

• Feel stuck in the same arguments

• Want to improve communication

• Are navigating a transition (marriage, a move, parenthood, career changes, etc.)

• Want to strengthen your relationship proactively

In fact, starting earlier often makes therapy more effective and less stressful.

3. What happens in a couples therapy session?

Sessions typically involve:

• Exploring current concerns and goals

• Identifying patterns that create disconnection

• Practicing new communication and emotional skills

• Building understanding and empathy between partners

Your therapist helps slow things down, ensure both partners feel heard, and guide conversations in a safe, structured way.

4. Will the therapist take sides?

A common concern is that the therapist will “pick a side”. In couples therapy, the focus is on the relationship itself, not on blame.

Your therapist works to:

• Support both partners

• Understand each person’s experience

• Help you shift from me vs. you to us vs. the problem

The goal is fairness, safety, and connection - not judgment.

5. What if my partner is hesitant or unsure about therapy?

It’s normal for one partner to feel more ready than the other. Hesitation often comes from fear, past experiences, or uncertainty - not lack of care.

Couples therapy can still be effective when:

• One partner is unsure but willing to try

• Both partners are open to curiosity, even if skeptical

Many people find therapy feels different (and safer) than they expected once they begin.

6. How long does couples therapy take?

The length of therapy varies depending on your goals and situation.

Some couples benefit from:

• Short-term therapy focused on specific concerns

• Ongoing therapy to deepen communication and emotional intimacy

Progress isn’t about speed - it’s about building sustainable change and understanding.

7. What issues can couples therapy help with?

Couples therapy can support many concerns, including:

• Communication difficulties

• Conflict and recurring arguments

• Emotional disconnection

• Trust and betrayal

• Navigating life transitions and stress

• Premarital preparation and relationship growth

Even couples who care deeply about each other can benefit from support.

8. Does couples therapy actually work?

Research consistently shows that couples therapy can be highly effective when both partners are engaged in the process.

Therapy works best when couples are willing to:

• Reflect on their own patterns

• Practice new skills outside of sessions

• Stay curious rather than defensive

Change is possible - even when things feel stuck.

9. How do we know if couples therapy is right for us?

Couples therapy may be a good fit if:

• You want to improve your relationship, not just “fix” problems

• You’re open to learning new ways of relating

• You value emotional connection and growth

You don’t need to have all the answers - just a willingness to start.

10. What’s the first step to getting started?

The first step is scheduling an initial session or consultation. This allows you to:

• Ask questions

• Share what you’re hoping for

• See if the therapist feels like a good fit

Reaching out is already a meaningful step toward your relationship.

Final Thoughts

Seeking couples therapy isn’t a sign of failure - it’s a sign of care. Relationships are complex, and having support can help you move from patterns of disconnection toward greater understanding, safety, and closeness. If you’re curious about couples therapy, support is available - and you don’t have to figure it out alone. Visit the Couples Therapy page to learn more.