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Some Questions to Help Build Emotional Intimacy

One of the best ways to continue building emotional intimacy in a relationship is for partners to continue to learn about each other as they grow together as a couple. One way to intentionally do this is to set aside some uninterrupted time each week to sit and be present with your partner and talk, including asking each other questions to better understand each other's perspectives and inner thoughts.

Below are some great questions that can be used for this activity. Take turns asking each other a question, and then listen presently without interrupting until the end of your partner's answer. Feel free to ask follow-up questions after your partner answers to learn more. You can also use this time after they finish answering to reflect back to them what you heard them say and validate their thoughts to show you are listening and really hearing what they are saying. For some people, it may be helpful to have a notepad with you to be able to jot down thoughts or points to follow up on about your partner's answer without interrupting them as they share.

Below are some example questions - feel free get creative and come up with some of your own as well!

What is your biggest fear?

How do you like to receive or be shown love?

When do you feel most safe?

What words would you use to describe your authentic self?

What is your favorite childhood memory?

What are you currently most worried about?

What is your greatest hope for the future?


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